The Daily Grind

Apologies for the dearth of posts lately, but things have been pretty slow since the World Cup ended. The truth is, our daily existence here is pretty mundane. There have been some mildly interesting things to discuss in the news (parliament has decided it is tired of the media exposing its corruption, so instead of straightening out, they are trying to pass a bill criminalizing the disclosure of “state secrets”—not cool), but our intent in writing this blog was to give an insight into what life is like here. So, what follows is a typical weekday in the life of Dan and Marnie in RSA.

6:45-8 am: A combination of lightening skies and hadedas cawing outside our bedroom window wakes me up. Marnie is, of course, still fast asleep. I stare out the window at the birds until 7:30, when I scoot over to Marnie’s side for a cuddle. Far from being an act of tenderness, this is the signal that it is time to get her butt out of bed. If I manage to pry her from the mattress before eight, she will accompany me to the gym, otherwise I go it alone.

8-9:30 am: Sweat and toil at Planet Fitness. At some point, when I am gasping and grunting in absolute agony, Marnie will attempt to engage me in casual conversation. Afterwards, it’s upstairs to the Pick ‘N Pay for a newspaper and groceries.

9:30am-12pm: If we have the raw materials and I’m in the mood, I will make my traditional breakfast “pizzas”, consisting of a toasted tortilla topped with avocado, cheese, fried egg and bacon/biltong. Dee-lish. I read the paper or futz around online while Marnie showers and “Somalis-Up”.

12-4:30pm: Marnie is off to conduct interviews in Mayfair and I write. I try to leave the flat for at least a half hour every day just to air myself out. This usually encompasses trips to Rosebank or the shops in Parktown for supplies, or just a jaunt around the block.

4:30-6:30pm: Marnie comes home and makes dinner, and I make my own after she has entirely vacated the kitchen (I don’t share tight spaces well—closterphobia as a result of Chris sitting on my head when we were kids). We eat our own dinners during the week because I don’t do broccoli and Marnie doesn’t care for fish or my “spicy stinky food”. Coffee and chocolate squares for dessert.

6:30-7:30pm: We watch “Come Dine with Me”, a BBC show featuring four contestants who host dinner parties and secretly score one another, the prize being ₤1000 to the winner. This is narrated by a snooty, condescending Englishman, thus combining two of our favorite sources of pleasure: food and snarky British humor.

7:30-11pm: I watch my soccer news show until 8, after which we will watch a movie or some other mindless fluff whilst we read. If Marnie doesn’t decide to type up her notes, I might get to play on the laptop for a little longer. At some point one of us brushes our teeth, thus signalling their intent to go to bed.

So that’s pretty much it. Rinse and Repeat.

On a side note, congratulations to John and Natalie. We will all sleep soundly tonight knowing there is another John Frederic Furniss in the world. Now if you could all stop procreating until we return, it would be appreciated. Oh, I forgot about Lizzy. Crap.