T.I.A.

During our time here, the Kirsteins and others have asked if we could see ourselves living here long term. Being put on the spot, we humor them. After all, it’s not hard to SEE ourselves living here, because we ARE living here.

Usually our response comes with a caveat. The easy excuse is that if it weren’t for the threat of a Julius Malema presidency, and the ensuing seizure of land and capital, then yes, we might consider it. But there are other factors that we fail to mention.

One of those factors reared its ugly head this morning, when we visited the Mozambican Consulate to get our tourist visas. Before we even got there, we first had to figure out which of the three addresses and multiple phone numbers provided online was current. Marnie was finally able to confirm this information after a couple of days, and we were relieved to pull into the lot with the big Mozambican flag marked “Consulate”.

You would think that would be clear enough, right? Apparently not, because the receptionist told us we needed to go around the corner to the next entrance, attached to the same building. Walking around said corner, we found a locked gate. We must have looked confused because a guy in a truck honked and directed us to the next building, which was quite clearly NOT attached.

Having foregone my cup ‘o joe this morning to get there early, I was already in a grumpy mood, and what transpired did nothing to improve matters. The transcript of events is as follows:

--Some rude woman talks over us as we ask the security guard if we are in the right place. We are directed to counter 2.

--The gentleman behind the counter is baffled when we ask for our visa applications. He tells us to wait five minutes, and disappears with another woman, leaving one person to help the ten or so of us there.

--A woman gives us the forms, we fill them out, and step back into line by counter 2. By “line”, I mean the group of people now huddled around the woman at the counter, the rule being the one with the sharpest elbows gets served first.

--After finally pushing to the front, the woman told us we have to pay first—over in counter 3, on the other side of a concrete column. We step around the column, wait as she helps several more people, and she steps to the other side of the column to run our credit card.

--The woman says she needs to “process” our applications over in counter 2, so we step back across the column to the other line. After waiting behind several more customers, the woman hands us our receipt, and tells us we can pick up our passports between 3 and 4 this afternoon.

This incident brings to mind the annoying acronym TIA—This Is Africa. The implication is that things move bit slower here, that you need to be patient and roll with it. THIS IS BS. Not only is this notion condescending, it excuses all manner of disorganization and unprofessionalism. There is no reason why business in Africa cannot be run efficiently, and there are plenty of examples to prove it. The small minded notion that corruption, incompetence and hoop-jumping are just part of the process prevents this country and others on the continent from moving forward.

Marnie has graciously volunteered to return this evening to collect our passports and visas, provided everything was processed in a timely manner. Good luck to her—she’ll need it. Let’s hope she’s been sharpening her elbows.