Welcome to News of the Weird, South Africa style.
Over the last few weeks, there has been a ongoing story about “canned” lion hunting. In South Africa, there are between 3000-5000 lions bred in captivity for the purpose of being shot at a later date by a Great White Hunter. After they reach maturity, the lions are released into the game park, sometimes for a few days, sometimes for a few hours, then tracked, shot, and presumably hung on some Hemingway wannabe’s wall.
Animal rights groups have naturally taken offence to this, and a judge ruled that the companies must release the lions into the wild for a year before they are hunted. The companies respond that they don’t have the resources to stock their farms with enough game to feed the lions for a year. Additionally, the rights groups are afraid that the companies will simply abandon or euthanize the lions if the ruling takes effect.
There has also been some interest from China to use the lions for traditional medicine, once again proving that the Chinese are willing to eradicate every species on Earth in the name of their sad little libidos. I mean, you have a billion people already, don’t you think the answer is less sex?
A tiger is on the loose. Or was. A man’s “pet” tiger was on his way to receive shots and (ironically) a tracking chip, when the cap on the man’s truck flew open and the tiger escaped. A very enthusiastic effort ensued to re-capture the beast, involving helicopters, planes, celebrity game trackers and thermal imaging.
My initial response was: what’s the big deal? You’ve got lions, hyenas, leopards, cheetahs and wild dogs running around on the plains, and you’re worried about a juvenile domesticated tiger? If anything, it could have potentially mated with a lion, producing the first wild liger. Or tigon, I forget how that works. Anyway, that would’ve been cool, but Man’s Best Friend intervened. That’s right- the tiger was brought to justice by….a weimaraner, who successfully tracked him down.
Lastly, there has been a frankly bizarre murder trial going on involving a hit on a businessman. The guy that did the deed is Mikey Shultz, the lovable gangster and sometimes professional boxer. Mikey is testifying under immunity for the state against the other gangster that allegedly set up the hit. Mikey claims the guy he shot was desperate to die, and waited rather impatiently for him to shoot him on three separate occasions, but the first two times the gun jammed.
What makes this all super weird is that the Kirstein family knows this guy well enough that he’s been to the house a few times and is in Jackie’s cell phone. I’ve been told he’s a very nice gentleman, for someone who kills people.
To top it off, Marnie walked into a conversation about the weather in the women’s locker room at the gym. When Marnie told them to be glad they don’t have winters like we do back home, a woman replied that she had lived in the US for six years, and knew all about Midwestern winters. Where did she live? Columbus, Ohio.
Of course.
Over the last few weeks, there has been a ongoing story about “canned” lion hunting. In South Africa, there are between 3000-5000 lions bred in captivity for the purpose of being shot at a later date by a Great White Hunter. After they reach maturity, the lions are released into the game park, sometimes for a few days, sometimes for a few hours, then tracked, shot, and presumably hung on some Hemingway wannabe’s wall.
Animal rights groups have naturally taken offence to this, and a judge ruled that the companies must release the lions into the wild for a year before they are hunted. The companies respond that they don’t have the resources to stock their farms with enough game to feed the lions for a year. Additionally, the rights groups are afraid that the companies will simply abandon or euthanize the lions if the ruling takes effect.
There has also been some interest from China to use the lions for traditional medicine, once again proving that the Chinese are willing to eradicate every species on Earth in the name of their sad little libidos. I mean, you have a billion people already, don’t you think the answer is less sex?
A tiger is on the loose. Or was. A man’s “pet” tiger was on his way to receive shots and (ironically) a tracking chip, when the cap on the man’s truck flew open and the tiger escaped. A very enthusiastic effort ensued to re-capture the beast, involving helicopters, planes, celebrity game trackers and thermal imaging.
My initial response was: what’s the big deal? You’ve got lions, hyenas, leopards, cheetahs and wild dogs running around on the plains, and you’re worried about a juvenile domesticated tiger? If anything, it could have potentially mated with a lion, producing the first wild liger. Or tigon, I forget how that works. Anyway, that would’ve been cool, but Man’s Best Friend intervened. That’s right- the tiger was brought to justice by….a weimaraner, who successfully tracked him down.
Lastly, there has been a frankly bizarre murder trial going on involving a hit on a businessman. The guy that did the deed is Mikey Shultz, the lovable gangster and sometimes professional boxer. Mikey is testifying under immunity for the state against the other gangster that allegedly set up the hit. Mikey claims the guy he shot was desperate to die, and waited rather impatiently for him to shoot him on three separate occasions, but the first two times the gun jammed.
What makes this all super weird is that the Kirstein family knows this guy well enough that he’s been to the house a few times and is in Jackie’s cell phone. I’ve been told he’s a very nice gentleman, for someone who kills people.
To top it off, Marnie walked into a conversation about the weather in the women’s locker room at the gym. When Marnie told them to be glad they don’t have winters like we do back home, a woman replied that she had lived in the US for six years, and knew all about Midwestern winters. Where did she live? Columbus, Ohio.
Of course.
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